Never Happy (6 Minute Read)

-NEVER HAPPY-

the-7-habits-of-highly-unhappy-people

The reason I wrote this is just a bit of an observation during the process of graduating college, moving to LA, and keeping the dream alive.

So first off, yes, it’s an exciting time, being more determined and focused than ever.

I’ve taken more control over my life, which is one of the majors keys to happiness. The negatives have become MUCH smaller, and I’m really grateful for that. I’ve worked hard to create a positive environment around myself where negatives are much more infrequent. When they do come up now, I observe them with curiosity, but they’re very strong.. in weird ways.

Last Saturday for example, I slept in. I woke up feeling super lazy, and reached for my phone right away. I started flicking from app to app, updating myself on all the latest social news.

After about 5 minutes I noticed something strange was happening. I started to feel anxious. What was coming through the little screen on my phone was actually making me feel TERRIBLE.

I thought back to 5 minutes ago, when I woke up, and remembered how peaceful and comfortable I was laying in bed.

I continued to focus on what was happening, and realized that this scenario actually appeared to be a real life problem for me. It was strangely distressing.. it’s good that I saw it this way though.  It touched on something much bigger.. something that all of us deal with on some kind of level.

J.Cole, one of my favorite artists of all time, continually talks about how fame & money only brought him more problems. He mentioned one time in an interview that before he became famous, he always looked at success as something that would eventually resolve his stress and overall worries about life. Then, once he became a megastar, he realized he missed all the important things that were right in front of his face during his grind to the top.

This is actually a pattern I’ve seen with a lot of famous artists who grew up in a bad neighborhoods, poor financial situation, or without a supportive mom/dad. The switch from struggle mode, to abundant success is such a different lifestyle that it screws with their heads.

However, rich or poor, what’s consistent throughout both of these scenarios, is that something is always bothering J.Cole, and he’s not alone. This is how the human brain operates. 

Honestly think about it. When’s the last time you didn’t have something bothering you? Before your last problem you had another problem, and before that problem is gone, your next one will appear. Ever notice there’s a main problem of the day, every day?

This is why I love J.Cole. He touches on topics like this that all of us can relate to. This particular topic being:  never being happy. At least not for long.. It sounds a little over the top, but in this day and age,  it’s the reality of our how our brain functions.

I think social media is a huge culprit in making people feel like they aren’t worth much.  I’ve studied social media to help grow my own fanbase and have discovered a common trend of people feeling they need a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ companionship to feel valuable (a topic touched on in .dotcom).

I used to be a culprit of this theory until I personally experienced these types of relationships, and then saw other people around me go through them as well. What I’ve found is this:

You will always default back to a resting point within in your “threshold of happiness”. This threshold may go up and down on a daily basis. It can change within the next second if life’s events stimulate you in that way.

 So the person you believed would make you most happy in this world will soon enough just appear as another element that should be there for you anyways.

Once I get that big record deal I’ve always wanted, I’ll become accustomed to it within a certain period of time..

When we become accustomed to things in our life that we were blessed with, and it’s there presenting itself to us every single day, our chances of taking it for granted increase dramatically. This is where the threshold drops back to normal.

If we don’t practice gratitude consistently, most of us will eventually take our blessings for granted and lose the love and joy they once made us feel.

My point is, don’t put a label on one thing that makes you happy and then fall victim to feeling the burn of not having it. That’s not the reality of the situation. You’re going to inevitably become unhappy again regardless of if you have this thing or not. If it’s not that particular thing that makes you unhappy, something else will. Crazy right? So you might as well just not say “this is what I need to be happy”.. It saves a lot of energy & stress.

For now, just become used to the fact that this is the reality of your life, and in those moments, where you feel dependent on something for happiness,  try to observe yourself going through these episodes of sadness and struggle with great interest. All of the sudden it becomes a beautiful experience.

It’s actually amazing how many different powerful emotions we can watch our psyche create. For once just watch a human being, operate as a human being instead of getting caught in all of the feelings we create inside. There is a seperation there, I promise.

So do I want Proph3cY to be a nationwide, household name? Yes. Do I know how I’ll get there? No, not really. Do I get extremely frustrated and doubt myself? All the fucking time. So much to the point, where I just notice it is as another one of those moments where I need to just step back, look at what my ego is doing, and watch how i’ve dropped further down on my threshold within a matter of seconds.

How do you maintain being above the threshold? It’s EASY, but it’s sooo not easy at the same time:

   Just noticed what happened, jump back into the moment, and keep focusing on your baby steps to the top.. learn to enjoy it too! Why not? Literally why not? Ask yourself that question right now please.

It’s almost comical when you look at how unstable the human psyche is and what it’s doing. People always want to know when & how they’ll be happy when they aren’t..

The moment we stop asking ourselves that, close out of this article,  and get moving on our baby steps to success & wellbeing, we’re already walking towards what we’re looking for.

One love guys,

Proph3cY